What Is Polyvagal Theory? A Simple Guide to Understanding Your Nervous System

Have you ever been told to “just calm down” and thought, if only it were that easy?

That’s where Polyvagal Theory comes in — a powerful framework that helps explain why our bodies react the way they do, especially when we’re stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down. Understanding this theory can help you feel more compassion for yourself and others — and help you begin to heal in a deeper, more effective way.

At Aspire Counseling, we believe therapy should support not just your thoughts and emotions, but your nervous system too. That’s why three of our fully trained EMDR therapists recently spent two full days learning advanced ways to integrate Polyvagal Theory into EMDR therapy, helping our work become even more effective for those healing from trauma, anxiety, and stress.

The Basics of Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal Theory was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges and is all about how your nervous system responds to the world around you.

Image from @challengart on Unsplash 3/31/25

Instead of thinking of stress as just “fight or flight,” Polyvagal Theory shows us that we actually have three main nervous system states:

1. Ventral Vagal State – Connection & Safety

This is the ideal state — where you feel calm, safe, and connected. Your body is relaxed, your heart rate is steady, and you can think clearly and connect with others. This is the state therapy is trying to help you access more often.

2. Sympathetic State – Fight or Flight

When your body senses danger, it shifts into this active survival mode. You might feel anxious, angry, panicky, restless, or overwhelmed. Your heart races and your body prepares to act.

3. Dorsal Vagal State – Shutdown or Freeze

If the threat feels too much, your system might go into a freeze or collapse mode. You may feel numb, disconnected, exhausted, hopeless, or like you're just going through the motions. This is your body’s way of trying to protect you by shutting down.

These responses aren’t choices — they’re biological survival strategies. And they often show up in therapy, relationships, work, and everyday life.

Why Does This Matter for Therapy?

Understanding Polyvagal Theory helps us tailor therapy to support your nervous system, not just your thoughts.

For example:

• If you feel stuck or shut down in session, we don’t push — we gently support your body’s return to safety.

• If you feel anxious or overwhelmed, we work on regulation tools first — so you can engage in the deeper work more easily.

• If you’re doing EMDR therapy, we use Polyvagal-informed techniques to help you stay grounded and safe, even when working through difficult memories.

EMDR and Polyvagal Theory at Aspire Counseling

All of our EMDR therapists at Aspire are fully trained in EMDR, a gold-standard trauma treatment.

Recently, three of our EMDR therapists completed a two-day advanced training focused entirely on integrating Polyvagal Theory into EMDR. They learned new strategies, interventions, and nervous system-informed approaches to make trauma processing even more effective — especially for clients who struggle with anxiety, dissociation, shutdown, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

We’re excited to continue bringing this cutting-edge knowledge into our sessions, because we believe your nervous system deserves to feel safe as you heal.

Ready to Work With a Therapist Who Understands Your Nervous System?

Whether you’ve experienced trauma, chronic stress, anxiety, or just want to feel more grounded and connected, Polyvagal-informed EMDR therapy can help.

📍 We have offices in Columbia and Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and we’re currently accepting new clients.

Let’s work together to help your body and mind heal — not just survive, but thrive.

👩‍⚕️ About the Author

Jessica Smith, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Aspire Counseling, a group practice with locations in Columbia and Lee’s Summit, Missouri. Jessica specializes in evidence-based treatment for trauma, anxiety, and nervous system dysregulation. She is fully trained in EMDR therapy, a certified clinical supervisor, and a leader in integrating Polyvagal Theory into trauma work.

With years of experience supporting clients through complex trauma, burnout, and emotional overwhelm, Jessica is passionate about helping people build lives rooted in safety, connection, and self-trust. She also supports other therapists through clinical consultation, education, and mentoring.

At Aspire Counseling, Jessica leads a team of compassionate, licensed Missouri mental health clinicians who believe healing happens not just in the mind — but in the body and nervous system, too.